Everything in my life has been an opportunity to create and explore. Yogic philosophy has been a huge part of my learning and is the foundation of everything I share.
I always have been a wild and introvert child. I spent most part of my childhood by myself exploring my creativity. As I grew up though I somehow lost the connection to my sensitivity and alongside to myself.
When I was nineteen, I found myself in a pretty bad place. I stopped talking and eating for a while. I didn’t find any other ways to express what I was going through and call for help than silence and anorexia. I started a therapy. During my first session, the psychologist silently looked at me and finally asked: « Is that love that hurt so much? ». I stared back at her for a long time and started talking again. Just like that. I felt understood and this is what I was craving for. Yes, it is love that hurt so much. It is always love.
My psychologist taught me how to talk: how to analyze my feelings and express them. Seven years later, I was working in fashion in Paris, I had a great job, a great team, a great salary, a lot of friends and very proud parents. On the outside, I had a great life. On the inside though, I felt completely empty and stuck in my head. The day after my 26th birthday, I quit my job. I bought a plane ticket to India and left for two months.
My first week in India was tough. I was constantly asking myself what I was doing there and why I had done that to myself. I tried to find ways out and a yoga teacher unexpectedly gave me one. She listened to my story and said quietly: « You’re not your anxiety, Camille. » I stayed silent and she continued: « You’re not your emotions, you’re not your body, you’re not your thoughts. » I didn’t understand what it meant but I immediately knew that it was true. She also added: « Take one day after another, and remember that at any time you can go back home. » This, I understood. From there, I freed myself: I traveled across India, practiced yoga everyday, met amazing people and met myself. I looked for this new truth everywhere: I am not my emotions, I am not my body, I am not my thoughts. Then, who am I? I started writing and created a blog to share what I was living. And for the first time since a long time, through my travel and my writings, I felt that I was existing again.
When I got back to Paris, I worked just enough to earn the money I needed to live and used all the time that I had left to keep digging in myself. I practiced yoga and studied yoga philosophy. Through my yoga practice I met my consciousness. I am not my emotions, I am not my body, I am not my thoughts, I am the consciousness who is witnessing my emotions, my body and my thoughts. I journaled everyday for hours. Through my journaling practice I made the connexion between my therapy work, the version of myself I had just released in India and yoga philosophy. I got a better awareness of who I was and of what was making me happy. I understood that happiness is this magic feeling that brings you home to yourself.
I kept writing and at some point I ended working as a writer for a famous French website. I enjoyed being paid for my creativity and the recognition for a while and then, I felt it again. The call to step forward. I quit my job once more, sold everything that I had in Paris, and moved to Bali.
I arrived in Bali as I arrived in India five years earlier. Not knowing what I was doing there but deeply convinced that I had something to find. I followed a first yoga teacher training. I learned how to teach and understood that transmission was part of my path. I learned how to love and what unconditional love means. Over the following months I started working on myself in a completely different way. I started drawing mandalas and expressing myself without using any words. It was not about understanding anymore but about acceptance and trust. And right there, I met my spirituality: this magic strength inside of me which teaches me everyday that I am exactly where I am meant to be. I followed a second yoga teacher training. I learned how to move from inside, how to free myself from external validation and how to be myself unconditionally. I felt that this was exactly what I had to find in Bali and that I was ready. I left Bali and moved to Tel Aviv.
Here I am today. Sharing my path with you, all that I stand for, all that I have always done: finding ways to express myself in order to understand myself more and love myself better.
Self-expression is the journey and the destination. Through self-expression, we get to know what is vibrating inside of us, we get a better awareness of who we are, we get to love ourselves more and ultimately we cultivate this need to stand for ourselves. To exist. To leave a mark. To change the world. To express ourselves no matter what.
With all my love, as always.